A Bad Day

You don't see me when I reply 'I'm good' but I'm lying face down with tears streaming down my face with a blocked nose. I do not feel good at all.

You don't see me when I reply 'everything is good' but I'm busy trying to learn the perfect way to slit my wrists so that I never have to deal with this familiar sadness again. Everything is not good.

You don't see me when I reply 'we're good' but I have a sad little smile on my lips because we are definitely not good and we can't carry on conversations like before anymore.

You don't see me when I reply 'we're in touch' but I cry because we're not since this depression has pulled me away from all my friends who should be in touch

You don't see me when I reply 'I was asleep' but I was actually crying myself to sleep in that moment.

You don't see me after I've said good morning but I'm stuck in bed wishing I could sleep forever.

You don't see me after we've shared a good laugh because this mood has a way of keeping me away when I'm reminded of how sad I am.

You know the happy side but not the sad part where it feels like the world is better off without me.

These feelings don't last though. They never do. I don't know when it will get better, but I've got to remember to be hopeful The next time we see is because I choose to show you that I am good, the world is full of opportunities waiting to be seized.

Until those feelings come back, because they always do, It's just a bad day and it only gets better from here on...

C.I.